Friday, March 22, 2013


Corin has unblocked me from Facebook. I... I don't know what I'm feeling or thinking.

How did I find this out, you ask?

Well, I was editing my short story last night (the one I posted, which was very obviously about Corin), and I wanted to make sure the dialogue fit. So I went through my archived messages on Facebook (as you apparently can't DELETE any conversations), and found the one from way back when Corin and I were friends and all that.

Upon clicking it, I realized... his name was no longer in black. It was blue. And there was an actual picture next to his name. This meant I could click on it, go to his Facebook page, and send him a friend request if I so desired.

Do I so desire? There was a point when I was willing to pass the olive branch and be his friend again, but then he blocked me and all that. Now... I don't know. I wouldn't be a jerk to him if I saw him somewhere and had to interact with him. But do I want to try to be friends with him?

I've been reading our conversation, from the beginning. I'm seeing little things that I really should have picked up on at the time, but as they say, hindsight is 20/20. However, for the most part... I'm just thinking that he really was very funny and clever. I can see why I enjoyed talking to him.

He would start the chat first, not every time, but often enough that I never felt like I was the one always trying to get him to talk to me. He asked me questions to keep the conversation going. Daniel doesn't even do that. Half the time I'm just rambling to him and hoping he'll say something back.

True, seeing all the hearts Corin would send and the calling me "love" and such is a little gross now. I didn't have a problem with it then, because (at first) I thought it was in fun and (later) thought it was kind of sweet. If someone talked to me like that now... well, I would be very wary.

Looking through this conversation, I've really been thinking. DID Corin start talking to me with this intention to get me to like him and convince me he reciprocated, or did it come about later? I don't know. He seemed to really enjoy talking to me - he gave me his number, convinced me to join Google+, gave me keys to his Minecraft - so I don't know what to really think anyway.

I don't know. I really should stop reading through the conversation, because it's giving me half a mind to message him and try to figure this stuff out. That probably wouldn't be the best idea. At best, it would give me peace of mind. At worst, it will stir up old feelings and I'll end up hurt again. And with Daniel in the picture, there's no reason for me to need peace of mind (I can distract myself pretty easily with him) and the chance of a return to previous states of hurt and/or infatuation could really be a problem.

All in all, I just want to know why the hell Corin went through the trouble of going to his settings, going to his account, going to the blocking section, and deleting my name from the list. That seems... strange, to me. Why would he do that? Seriously? He hasn't sent me a friend request or anything, so I can't see what the point was.

Anyway. I really wish that I didn't have to wait until Tuesday to see Daniel, because I'm feeling very fragile right now, and I could use some attention that I know is sincere. Alas, it is not meant to be. Sigh. I'm going to go sing and pick up pine cones now.