Tuesday, February 28, 2012

I'm Sorry I'm Not a Man

This is for anyone who comes here via my profile on Amazon.

You see, I entered the Amazon Breakthrough Novelist Award Contest. Surprisingly, I made it through the first round, and will find out if I've made it through the second on March 20th. I'm very, very nervous to see the reviews of my excerpt (I've heard some rough stuff, and I'm building up my armor now so that I can laugh off anything the reviewers throw at me).

Anyway. I'm using a pen name, Will Belacqua. It's a very meaningful name if you've read the His Dark Materials series. If you haven't you can appreciate how pretty a name it is.

The problem (although it's not really a problem) is that everyone thinks I'm a dude.

I am not.

Admittedly, this was my goal. If I wrote a book and used my actual name, Virginia, people would assume I'm less of a writer, because people are stupid and STILL think that girls only care about romance even though J.K. Rowling is a girl. I'm not saying EVERYONE does this, but plenty certainly do. And thus the pseudonym.

But I never intended for my fellow participants to think I'm a man. It's amusing (my favourite comment being "you just want the ladies to 'read' all over you"), but I'm certainly a girl, and a straight one at that. So if any of you were feeling affronted by this blog proving that I'm indeed a girl and you can't bone me because I'm not a guy, I'm sorry. For those of you now excited because I am actually a girl and you CAN bone me... well, maybe if you're attractive enough.

If I WERE a guy, however, I'm sure I'd be a great one. People tell me I'm mannish all the time, mostly because of my belching abilities and the fact that I punch pretty dang hard. I get the feeling I'd be like the narrator in "Gargoyle". You know, a manwhore who makes porn and ends up getting burned up in a fire. Without the burning and porn, of course. Well, probably without the porn. There's a lot of money to be made there.

Once again, I'm sorry I'm not a sexy, 20-something man with awesomeness oozing out of every pore. Instead, I'm a sexy, 19-going-to-be-20-soonish girl with awesomeness oozing out of every pore. This is sad news for some, great news for others.

Anyway. Wish me luck with ABNA! Or at least hope that none of the reviewers say anything that make me homicidal.