So let's get one thing clear.
It is never, EVER okay to joke about rape.
Rape is a serious topic, one that deserves serious discussion and serious reflection.
Making a joke about someone being raped is disgusting. Laughing at it is just as horrid.
I absolutely refuse to let people make those sorts of jokes around me. And by around me I mean: in person, on the phone, on the computer. Hell, if I see it on Facebook, I will say something to the person who posted it.
This is one of those things where I WILL judge someone for finding that sort of thing funny. Usually, I'm pretty understanding about what makes people laugh. But this is not one of those times.
You can say you hate rape, and you hate people who rape, and maybe you do. But if you still laugh or tell rape jokes, you need to sit down and analyse why in the world you would think that's funny. If it is as hateful and distasteful to you as you say it is, then you should not find rape jokes amusing on any level.
There is no joke about rape that is amusing. I've yet to meet a girl who finds them funny, it's always been men. So I ask you, men: would you find jokes about cutting off your penis funny?
Well then why in the fucking world would you think jokes about violating someone in JUST AS PERSONAL AND AWFUL A WAY is funny?
This is where the term "rape culture" comes to play.
In discussing this with others today, I've been told that I "just didn't get the joke" and that I'm being judgemental. And they're right on both counts. I AM not getting the joke, because there isn't one to get. I AM being judgemental, because what does it say about your character that you can laugh at the thought of someone (even an ethereal "joke" person who doesn't exist) getting raped?
If I pointed out the atrocity that is finding rape funny, and you said, "You know what, you're right. That sort of shit isn't funny" then I'd be okay with you. But continuing to defend the notion that it isn't a terrible thing, that your humour isn't horrific, that upsets me.
Because there's a difference between dark humour and a twisted sense of humour, and finding rape or violence funny.
And you know what? If you're friends with me and you find rape jokes funny, don't tell them around me. Don't post them to where I can see them on your Facebook, if you know that I have a high chance of seeing the things you post. Don't get upset if you slip, and I point out that I have a problem with it and ask why you DON'T.
Because honestly, do you have a reason why you don't? Can you actually justify finding such a horrific act funny?
Seriously. If you want to remain friends with me, don't begin with that sort of shit, and don't continue it. Don't try to defend it.
Chuck Wendig, an amazing writer, touches on this subject as well. He links to other articles that really hit home. I'd suggest checking them out, when you get a chance.