I literally cannot wear pants or underwear right now. Today, I went to Ocean Breeze Water Park, and I got this weird sunburn/rash thing that screams in pain if I move, touch it, or try to soothe it. Yay. On the interesting side, I got hit on by a guy AND a girl, AT THE SAME TIME. It was very strange.
Also, how is it that I put on sunscreen diligently throughout the day, and end up sunburned at all? While my stupid brother puts it on once and doesn't even get pink, despite having the skin colour of a ghost. Stupid, that is.
Anyway, this post isn't about those things. This is about girls. And prettiness.
Why is it that when a girl knows she's pretty, it's considered a bad thing?
I know I'm pretty. Often I act like I'm the most beautiful thing ever, which I know I'm not, and everyone knows that I know that. Yet they still think that my acknowledging that I'm attractive is wrong.
Now, I know that the stereotypical girl who knows she's attractive is a bitch. She's the prom queen, clique-loving, slut from Hell. But I'm not like that. I just know that men (and women who aren't deluding themselves) find me attractive.
I've got gorgeous eyes, soft and pretty hair, a well-formed body, a pretty face, and teeth that make dentists and their assistants have orgasms. (Not really. But they do give sighs of appreciation and tell me that my teeth are the best they've ever seen, and can they take a picture to show such and such colleague? True story, that's happened a couple times.)
But apparently knowing all of that makes me evil or something.
I'm supposed to be putting myself down, according to society. Talking about how I don't have a flat stomach, or clear skin all the time, and have hairy arms because of my German genes. I'm supposed to be pointing out all of my flaws. That will make me a "better person" or some other bullshit like that.
Been there, done that. And you know what? All it did was make me feel terrible, even more suicidal than before, and *gasp!* ugly.
So I say that we women (and men) should embrace our good qualities instead. So what if you have a big nose? Your smile lights up the room. So what if you have cankles? You're so graceful dancers are jealous. I'm just making these up, but it's the theory I'm going for here.
True, I am prettier than the average person. Men flirt with me, women are jealous of me. And maybe when I say "I know" when someone tells me I'm pretty it isn't the most demure thing. But it's true. Girls who are pretty and say "Oh thanks, you really think so?" are doing one of two things. They're either fishing and want you to build them up even more, or their self-esteem is so low that you need to check their pockets for knives. Usually it's the former.
That song by that British band called One Direction gets on my nerves. The chorus says, "You don't know you're beautiful. That's what makes you beautiful." No. As a guy, I wouldn't want to date a girl who can't tell that she's attractive. I'd have to spend all my time convincing her that she is, and she'll never believe me anyway. That's not exactly sounding like a good time.
Of course, I have a hard time being humble about anything. I know that if I were in a Greek tragedy, my downfall would be because of my hubris. But honestly, I can't stand it when people pretend that something they did or the way they look isn't that great. Because they're PRETENDING. Only .01% of the population is actually humble, and that's probably being generous.
People just want validation. That's why they say, "Oh, no, really, it's nothing." Or, "Oh, no, I'm really not that pretty." They want to hear someone else say that it IS a huge deal, that they ARE gorgeous. I'm just weird because I don't NEED that validation. Sure, it's nice. If I'm feeling crappy I'll fish for compliments like any other girl. But on the average day, I'm fine. I know I'm smart, funny, and beautiful. What do I care if others notice it or not?
That may make me an awful person. Go ahead, tell me that I'm conceited and arrogant. Everyone does. But just because I can feel good about myself without anyone else's help doesn't mean I'm either of those things. It just means that I'm self-confident.
Momma didn't raise no fool, and it'd take a fool not to realize how great I've turned out.
I like you, Hattie Gunter! I want my daughter to grow up just as self-confident as you.
ReplyDeleteI think what's important, and incredibly hard, is getting beyond our focus on looks. Sure, we all like to look at pretty things (and be a pretty thing if possible), but ultimately I want my daughter to know that other things about her - her brains and character - matter so much more than what she looks like. I get the feeling you've already figured that out.
I like to think I have, Marianne. I like being pretty, but I'm so glad that I got my brains and personality long before my attractiveness.
DeleteAnd I'm sure, with a mother like you, your daughter will turn out just fine :)
Hattie, you're not conceited or arrogant. You're honest. It's a good thing that you acknowledge your assets. It's a good thing that you don't care what others think of you. While I don't necessarily think it's important to be pretty, acknowledging it if you are indeed attractive is a way of saying - "hey, I know who I am, I love who I am, and if you don't understand, go stuff it!"
ReplyDeleteThe same thing goes for girls who aren't pretty, who know they aren't pretty and who don't obsess over trying to be pretty. Girls who try too hard to either be humble about their attractiveness or to make themselves into something they're not while chasing the holy grail of beauty, aren't confident with themselves. It takes a strong sense of self respect to be truthful about one's appearance. Often, a girl's mind can be like a fun-house mirror, exaggerating features into flaws.
Personally, I focus on my talents as a source of self pride. My eccentricities, my imagination, my ability to write, and to illustrate. Everyone has something within themselves to hold on to against societal pressures, it's just that too many fail to realize what it might be.