Monday, July 2, 2012

Writerly Friends

Before I start the official blog post, an update on my life: I haven't talked to Winters in over a week, which is fine by me. Yes, he was really attractive and seemed nice. But if he doesn't want to text me or anything, that's cool with me. I've found a new boy toy for the next couple of weeks! His name is Josh, and he's very nice. Skinnier than a rail, but cute and sweet and wears cool shirts.

Now to the real stuff!

I don't like to have writer-type friends. Not because I think writers make bad friends or something like that. Simply because I don't like reading other "amateur" writers' works.

You see, I am a snob. A literary snob, to be exact.

I've been reading since the age of four. I've had a college reading level since the age of six. I've been reading the classics since the age of seven.

My tastes are very well-defined, and I abhor poorly written works. Most books written for my demographic make me want to gag with how trite and/or poorly written they are. Heck, most books in general are that way. Finding a book that I like is a tough job, although I've managed to fill two whole bookshelves thus far, with books stacked on the floor as well.

So you can see why I might be wary of reading another person's work. Half of the time I don't like my OWN writing.

Now, a lot of you are writer-types, and you're maybe feeling a touch offended. Trust me, I'm not trying to be rude. In fact, those of you whose works I HAVE read or seen bits of are very good, if not excellent. However, I feel like this isn't the norm, and I'm bound to come across a fellow writer whose novel is... lacking. And I don't want that to happen.

I don't want to say to a friend, "I'm sorry, but this was awful. I couldn't get through it. You should perhaps try another profession."

Now, for a lot of you, I look at the way you write for informal things. If I think you might have a style I'd like (although I'm aware that your official style can be different. Mine is, for sure), I'll offer to read something you've got. You just have to be prepared for what could be a very brutal review. I have no qualms with saying that something is pedantic or annoying or straight out wrong.

That's all I've really been thinking about lately. I seem to be making more and more friends who are writers, or think they are. Saying "think they are" makes me feel bad, but it's true. Some people think they can write, when they really, really can't.

I really just don't want to be the one to tell them.