Wednesday, December 12, 2012

I Am a Cat

Mike, a friend of mine who writes for a newspaper, and I decided a couple weeks ago that I am, for all intents and purposes, a cat in human form.

Let me elaborate.

Last night, at Dungeons and Dragons, I could not get comfortable. So, as I don't care one whit about decorum or dignity, I moved around from position to position until I felt comfortable.

I believe that I went from kneeling on the floor with my torso in the chair and my chin on the back to laying on the floor with my feet in the chair to sitting upside down in an armchair with my feet over the back and my head near the floor.

That last one nearly made it as my permanent position, but it didn't really work because I would have to get up and roll dice eventually. As a result, I got up and went back to my chair, sitting like a normal person. That didn't really ring my chimes, though. In a stroke of good luck, Daniel got up from his chair and went to the armchair that I had vacated. This left his chair open and mine for the taking!

I stuck one leg onto the chair, then slid it through the gap between the back and the seat. It was a folding chair, so this made it close up on my leg. Lo and behold, I'd found my perfect position!

Of course, everyone thought I was crazy and that the position couldn't possibly be comfortable all because it LOOKED awkward. In reality, it was fine and wonderful and I wonder why I hadn't sat like that before.

So, point number one for being a cat: I end up in strange positions that don't look comfortable, and I am perfectly content and happy.

Other reasons I am a cat: I want affection when I want it and on my terms, and no time else. This really only comes into play when I'm in a relationship of some sort. Unlike most females at or around my age, I don't have any desire to be around my current boy-toy all the time. In fact, I'd really prefer he not be around unless I ask him to come over. I don't need to talk to him (or anyone else) every day, or see him every day, or even every other day. I'm just fine with whenever I get the desire to interact with him.

When something flies past me, my first instinct is to swipe at it.

I am easily distracted by colourful, bright things that move. On the reverse of that, I am also able to sit and stare at something for hours when the mood strikes.

I am extremely picky about whom I like, and in general hate most people. Or, at the very least, have no desire to interact with them.

As most of my friends will tell you, I am a touch conceited (or self-assured, as my second momma tells me) and think that most people are beneath my notice.

Finally, I love sleeping at all hours of the day.

I'm sure there are other ways I'm catlike, but I'm too lazy and ready for a nap right now to think of them. So I think I shall drink some milk and get ready for bed instead.