Sunday, December 9, 2012

What is Love?

But before we delve into THAT intense question, take a look at a few of my newest dinosaur-themed acquisitions!

As you can see, I have a triceratops pillowpet, a velociraptor stuffie, some AWESOME erasers, and dinosaur bed sheets. They are magnificent and I will treasure them forever.

Now, onto the interesting stuff!

Today at church, there was a wedding during the service. Afterward, for Sunday School (which I help lead now), we had a discussion about love and at what age can one truly fall in love and all sorts of stuff. I had started thinking about all of that during the sermon, so I was super prepared! And now I want to share my thoughts on love.

I'm sure some of you remember my previous post about love. If not, here's a link. Basically, I just go through the three typical views on love - but what IS it? How do you know when you're in love?

Well. My personal opinion (and I know it is extremely biased because of my biological father and his lack of contact with me) is that you are in love when you know that were you to have children, you would want it to be with that person. You want to have half your DNA bound with theirs for all eternity. You want your children to be THEIRS and YOURS so that you always have that tie with them, no matter what.

Whether or not you're READY for children is a totally different story. I do think one can be in love without wanting children; I'm just saying that if you happened to, well, at least it was with this person and not someone else.

Of course, I'm a complete cynic and I'm not sure I'll ever fall in love. Part of it has to do with the fact that I don't think anyone could fall in love with ME, but the other part of it is that I'm not sure I could trust someone that much. When you love people, they hurt you. They leave, they always leave, whether through choice or death or something else. So really, I don't want to be in love.

But, of course, I DO want to fall in love. Almost every girl plans her wedding, and I certainly did mine (although not to the extent of others. The most I know is that it's going to be outside; either at the beach or in the forest, and I for sure am not wearing shoes). And I definitely want kids, which I don't plan on having until I'm married. That plan is pretty much fool-proof, considering I refuse to have sex until then as well.

It's all very confusing, and society makes it even worse. If you don't get married and have kids or at least have a significant other, you are considered a failure. I always thought I'd be married almost right after college; now, with it only a few years away, I don't think that's going to happen. I mean, come on, I've had one real boyfriend. ONE.

Glen, the guy who runs Sunday School and with whom I am participating in Tough Mudder, met his wife and started dating her when they were 14. He told her he loved her on the second day he knew her. They got married when he was 19 and she was 21, and they've been together ever since. That sort of thing doesn't happen often, and personally if a guy told me he loved me when we'd only been together two days, I would leave him before you could say "dependency issues".

So, what does this all amount to? 

I want to fall in love, but doubt that I ever will.

And dinosaurs are awesome.