Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Ignoring Me = Not Cool

Everyone hates being ignored, right? I know I'm not the only one, because some of the people on my Twitter feed are teenage girls and they're much better at passive-aggressive tweeting than I ever could be, and a main theme is hating being ignored. Also tanning.


To bring y'all up to speed, Daniel and I started talking again late last week. It turns out that there had been some miscommunication; I was NOT in a grey area. He has placed me into the friendzone (although he tried to deny calling it that, but what else would it be if not the friendzone), but (for some reason unfathomable to me) he still likes me. In fact, he got pretty peeved when I told him he didn't. Which is understandable.

So yeah, we talked, and things were back to normal(ish). I texted him about random stuff, we would chat for a bit, and then go our merry ways. It was pretty comfortable and normal and I felt all right. It's not like I deluded myself into thinking he'd want me back - because he won't - but I at least felt like he wanted to be friends again. And that it was feasible, even though I still had (and have) feelings for him.

Now, though, he's ignoring me. We spoke a bit yesterday about a video game that had a really awesome pick-up line in it (I had seen it on Facebook, sent it to him, and he told me about the game), and halfway through the conversation he just stopped answering.

It bothered me, but didn't ruin my whole evening like it would've last week. So, that's a plus. I still went to volleyball and had a great time. Although a huge guy tackled me and almost threw out my jaw and shoulder on accident. That was kind of fun though, not going to lie.

When I got home, I sent Daniel a message, asking why he just stopped in the middle of our conversation. But, as he'd not seen the messages I had sent him the day before, I figured he wouldn't see these, making it pointless, and I said as much. As predicted, he didn't answer.

This time I know he saw them, though. That little creeper thing in the chats tells you when someone sees the message, and it's kind of bad because it turns you into this paranoid schizo who's flipping out because WHY IS HE IGNORING ME and WHAT IF HE'S DEAD and all sorts of weird thoughts.

Basically, if someone's going to ignore me, they should probably tell me that they're doing so, because then I can just be like, "Oh, okay, well, that's fine by me" because it would be if I knew that's what they were doing. It's the not being sure that I hate.

And of course, I can't message him either on Facebook or text asking him to tell me, because if he's not I'll just look crazy, and if he is he'll just get mad. Might get mad either way. *shrug* I just don't know.

Well, it's time for work. Hopefully it'll be super busy like it was Monday because then I'll just not stress over this (HA yeah right). I'm also going to be working on a story for this competition thingy, so, that might help. At least a little bit.


While I was at work, I kept thinking, "Hm, I wonder if he'll see this post and get mad about me talking about him so much on my blog, and if he'll text me being all, "I'm not ignoring you, this is why we would never work out" and I'd just start sobbing because guys, I'm like forever insecure about him being with his friend Olivia.

I can't remember if I mentioned that in the last post, but I'll mention it here because I'm just in a bad place what with certain female problems and lack of chocolate and I want to go for a run but it's DAYLIGHT and I haven't run in forever and it'll make my uterus hurt and I'll be huffing and puffing and I just might die.

So yeah.

When he first told me about Olivia (and he's going to be LIVING with her soon, her and another mutual friend of theirs who is also female), it wasn't anything. I didn't care. After all, I have plenty of male friends that I see all the time and hang out with, and they didn't make HIM uncomfortable. Plus, when I'm in a relationship, I tend to be pretty secure.

Now, though... he talks about her all the time, and from what I can tell from what he's told me, they talk all the time and he doesn't ignore HER and it's just like I know they're friends and all but he's the one who says he doesn't like talking to people all that much but he seems to talk to her way more often than he ever did me.

Of course, I don't know any of that for sure, so I could just be paranoid.

But what if I'm NOT? What if he DOES like her? I get no say in the matter, because, you know, I'm not his girlfriend any longer but guys I JUST CAN'T DEAL WITH THAT.

Sigh. I feel ridiculous, being as worried as I am about this. Which is why I haven't said anything to him about it yet. If I thought it were anything more than paranoia and insecurity on my end, I probably would. Hell, I'm perilously close to doing it anyway. And who knows, he might see this and message me like "Wtf is wrong with you, why do you think I like Olivia?" Again, commence the sobbing.

I really just need to write. Too bad I have to go mow the grass instead.