Sunday, May 19, 2013

Send Me Money, Please

Good God, I would kill to run in Tough Mudder, or Iron Warrior Dash, or any other intense obstacle course race.

I bring this up, because a quasi-friend at the bowling alley (he's a league bowler, as is his son, so I see him about twice a week) is participating in Tough Mudder this June. His team is down a runner; his father-in-law can no longer run, so they have an open slot. TECHNICALLY the Tough Mudder organization does not transfer registration. Sipos (that's his last name) is going to try his utmost to convince them to make an exception.

If he can't, he has this plan to take me there anyway, and hope that they don't check IDs (which they will. They always do). It won't work at all, but it's nice of him to be so determined.

Now, I'm sure a lot of you think I'm absolutely bonkers for wanting to do an obstacle course race where electrocution is a main event and you have to sign a death waiver. My parents certainly think I am. Although my mother usually just shakes her head and blames it all on inheriting adrenaline-junkie genes from my biological father.

I have always, ALWAYS, loved obstacle courses. As a kid, I would use the playground as one and come up with ways to race around and through it. I'd make the other children participate, because what fun is a race if you don't have anyone running in it? I don't recall ever losing, probably because obstacles give me more energy instead of sucking it away, which is not something most people experience.

When I was younger, I liked to say that I would join the military just so I could run obstacle courses. It's still an intriguing idea, but the fact that that's not all you do sort of dissuades me from that course of action.

Warrior Dash has just made me more and more excited to do these things. The main problem is that they're not cheap; longer races are upwards of $100, and it's rare to find any that are less than $50.

I JUST REALLY WANT TO DO THESE, GUYS. THIS IS WHY I NEED A SUGARDADDY. HE COULD PAY FOR ALL OF THEM.