Sunday, September 4, 2011

But Maybe I'm Just a Sex Druid

Love. No matter how you feel about it, there are certain trains of thought that are followed by a majority people. These can be split into three categories: Lovers of Love, People Who Believe in it, but Don't Care All That Much, and Love Sucks. Some people cycle through all three in their lifetime. I'm pretty much stuck in the latter two. That first one doesn't seem all that appealing.

Lovers of Love. People I like to call "idiots". They are characterized by excessively romantic ideas, no concept of reality, and often multiple partners. I have no patience for these people. When someone says, at 16, "I am just so in love. We're going to be together forever," I know that this person probably reads Twilight. And LIKES it. Love isn't all rainbows and butterflies and cupcakes. If it were, don't you think we'd all love just a little bit more? I know I would. Free cupcakes don't get turned down.

The Twilight series really does epitomize this view. A normal, albeit dangerously clumsy, girl ends up dating the most attractive boy at school. She doesn't seem to care that he's dangerously obsessive, or that he's extremely odd. After spending one day with him, and talking to him all of three times, she claims love. He does likewise. People who do this aren't real. How can you love someone you don't even KNOW? Alas. Oh, and when the boy leaves her for her own protection or something equally bull-shitty, she just curls up into a ball. This is TOTALLY healthy. All girls should do this when their boyfriends leave them. It shows that you were completely in love. NOT. It makes you look like a drug addict.

What really gets me is that they constantly compare their love to Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte. As a girl who adores this book and reads it at least once a year, this is insulting. Heathcliff and Cathy have a really complex and dark love that is interesting because there is literally nothing else redeemable about them. Plus they have good characterization and aren't annoying.

People Who Believe in it, but Don't Care All That Much. These people are my favourite. Neither completely cynical or dewey-eyed, they have the most level head on their shoulders. I think of myself as one of these. While we don't go actively searching for love, we know it's out there. It'll come when it wants to. There's no use to dramatizing our feelings; they are what they are. If, per chance, they develop into love, then that's great. If they don't, it's not that disappointing.

Love Sucks. The polar opposite of the Lovers of Love. These people think love is to be scorned, and that anyone who claims to love is delusional. I feel almost bad for these people, but I'd never tell them because they might eat me. Heaven forbid they start to feel something -  they might explode.

I know I spent more time on the Lovers of Love, but they really are the more prominent group. Also, they're the group I don't understand in any way. So there's a bit more to make fun of. Personally I want to remain in the middle group. It's safest.