This is a serious post, for the most part. A few sentences might be amusing, but overall it's just me ranting because I'm upset and I need to vent. As only like 4 people actually come on here (possibly less, I don't know what you people do), I figured no one cares that this is a deviation from the norm.
It's not fair. The one guy that actually interests and challenges me just HAS to be taken. It's like God said, "Ha, Hattie, you get to talk to this guy, but nothing else because I felt like being a jerk. Ha." Thanks, God. I'm feeling the love. Except I'm not.
Of course this guy (let's call him Corin for funsies) likes me too. He's called me "addicting" and exactly his type. Well, Mr. Corin, THAT'S NOT HELPING. In fact, it's making things worse. So stop saying ridiculous things like that.
If he hadn't said anything, I probably wouldn't have even begun to realize that I had feelings beyond "Hey, this guy is pretty smart. Cool." But he just has to go and call me cute, adorable, tempting, amazing... so being a girl with very little impulse control I can't help feeling something. After admitting that he feels this way, he backtracks and says "Oh, but I CAN'T feel this way." Well you do. So deal with it. Figure your shit out, so that I can figure MY shit out. Otherwise I'm going to say/do things I shouldn't, and someone's going to end up eating a pint of ice cream in one sitting while watching The Notebook. Obviously that won't be me, because I'm not THAT big on ice cream, and I find The Notebook ridiculous.
Back and forth we go, like the freaking Battering Ram at Busch Gardens, saying that we'll ignore the tension because we're both very selfish and don't want to stop talking. One little problem with this solution: you can't keep from saying things you shouldn't, and I can't help asking questions of you that I have no real right to ask. The whole situation bewilders me, and I hate being bewildered. I get enough of that trying to drive to the bank, thank you very much. Both Krystal and I think it's pretty simple: Decide who you want more, Corin, and stick with it.
If Corin can't figure things out soon, I'm going to make myself stop talking to him. It'll be horrifically difficult, considering I'm notoriously selfish and tend to not give a flying damn about how other people feel. This is perhaps the worst tug-of-war my mind has gone through since deciding between tigers and jaguars (I picked jaguars, just for future reference). My selfish (and probably stronger side, honestly) part wants him, come hell or high water, even if it doesn't really understand the meaning of that phrase. The moral side says, "Hey, chick, he's TAKEN. So chill." Middle ground is proving elusive, like leprechauns.
More than likely all my worrying and questioning has driven him away. While this is probably a good thing, I'm not happy about it. Even though he thinks I'm clever and funny and a wonderful challenge, I doubt he can deal with my pecking and squawking. If I could stop, I would, but alas I'm a very curious creature (though not a cat, thank goodness. Who wants to die for being curious?) and cannot control myself. My brain is tired of going in circles, and mayhap if he answers all my queries it'll chill out.
Gah. Why does he have to call me "my dear" and "darling" and "my love" in such a serious manner? This sort of behaviour is not acceptable, as it makes me feel all girly and I have no desire to feel that way. Even when we talk about zombies and unicorns and griffins he has this underlying sweetness and sense of adoration. This makes me uncomfortable. I'm not used to getting the dewy-eyed treatment from someone older than 6. I try to remain as non-committal as possible, relying on my sarcasm and cleverness, but I'm kind of failing.
This is getting long, so we'll go make a part two. Possibly a part three as well. And this is turning out a lot more amusing that I thought it would. In that some of the things I say are very ridiculous and clever, not that I'm amused. Because I'm not. I'm ENRAGED.